5月3日,臉書營運長雪莉桑伯格(Sheryl Sandberg)的丈夫不慎由跑步機摔落身故;一個月後,雪莉終於寫了這封公開信,她形容過去的30天猶如30年,悲傷也彷彿歷經了30年般沉重;然而,在空虛的悲傷與生命意義間,她仍選擇奮起振作,並分享了3點避免在悲傷時鑽牛角尖的作法。
I have learned that resilience can be learned. Adam M. Grant taught me that three things are critical to resilience and that I can work on all three. Personalization—realizing it is not my fault. He told me to ban the word “sorry.”… Permanence—remembering that I won't feel like this forever. This will get better. Pervasiveness—this does not have to affect every area of my life; the ability to compartmentalize is healthy.
這陣子我學習到復原力是可以淬鍊的。亞當葛蘭特(華頓商學院教授)教我對於習得復原力有三件事非常重要,我可以練習它們。
(不要過度)個人化—— 要意識到這一切並不是我的錯,他告訴我不要再說「對不起」。
(不會是)永遠—— 記住我不會永遠陷在這樣的感受裡,這一切將會好轉。
(控制)滲透—— 這不會影響你生活的每一層面,能適當區隔才是健康的。
resilience (n) /rɪˋzɪlɪəns/ 復原力、彈性
例句:Her resilience is impressive - she won't be unhappy for long.
她驚人的復原力,不會悲傷太久。
pervasiveness (n.) /pəˈveɪ.sɪv.nəs/ 滲透
例句:The great pervasiveness of the ruling communist party keeps the Chinese Empire stable.
掌權的共產黨強大的滲透力,保持中國帝國的穩定。
compartmentalize (v.) /͵kəmpɑrtˋmɛntlaɪz/ 區隔、劃分
例句:The ability to compartmentalize the pain is what helps us to survive.
將痛苦區隔開來的能力,幫助我們存活。