天才數學家約翰.納許(John Nash)5月23日和妻子因車禍意外身亡。納許22歲就提出賽局理論中著名的〈納許均衡〉,短短27頁的博士論文,隨後為他贏得了一座諾貝爾數學獎。然而,他的人生後來卻深受精神疾病所苦,兩度出入精神病院,電影《美麗境界》即根據他的一生改編。以下,是他康復時聊起精神失常的訪談摘錄。
Madness can be an escape. If things are not so good, you may be want to imagine something better. In madness, I thought I was the most important person of the world and people like the Pope would be just like enemies, who would try to put me down in some way….A delusional state of mind is like living a dream. Well I knew where I was, I was there on observation, but I was able to think that I was like a victim of a conspiracy.
精神失常可能是一種逃避。當事事不順,你可能會幻想事情能更美好一點。精神失常時,我覺得我是全世界最重要的人,像教宗之類的人可能是敵人,他想用某種方式擊倒我。⋯⋯妄想症發作時就像活在夢裡。我知道我在哪裡,我能感覺周遭,但我心裡覺得我是某個陰謀的受害者。
put someone down 擊倒、羞辱、致死
例句:Bill always put people down by using severe words and perfect logic.
比爾總是以凌厲的言語與完美的邏輯擊倒對方。
delusional (v.) /dɪˋluʒənl/ 妄想
例句:Delusional thinking is common in schizophrenia.
妄想是精神分裂症常見的症狀。
conspiracy (n.) /kənˋspɪrəsɪ/ 陰謀
例句:Walter White's conspiracy to build a drug empire had failed.
白華特建立毒品帝國的陰謀失敗了。